I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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