She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
