He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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