i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
