Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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