why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
