so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
