Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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