Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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