i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
