So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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