nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
