you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
