Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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