Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
