..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
