I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
