I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
