I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
