Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
