it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
