How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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