Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
