this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
