Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
