U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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