so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
