Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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