Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
