if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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