once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I just sharted jello shots
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
