I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
