none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
