Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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