just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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