Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
