Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
