Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
