If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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