i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
