My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
