I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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