You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
A+ Viking dick
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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