i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
