What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
