I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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