so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
