If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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