just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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