this beer tastes like vomit already
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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